Or… how to make a pirate ship cake and not be forced to walk the plank…
Step one: Bake two round chocolate cakes. Store in tin…
Step Two: (evening – preferably with wine to hand): model pirate, palm tree, treasure, parrot and anchor, along with other paraphernalia and leave to dry out. Rampantly steal ideas from this ship, this ship and this YouTube video so you don’t completely go mad trying to recreate Jonny Depp in sugarpaste form.
Step/Day Three: Make chocolate fudge icing and using strategic knifework, create rough body of ship to cover in icing and then leave in fridge to set. Start to panic. Blend industrial quantities of icing into a dark chocolate shade of brown and drink more wine to reduce quickening pulse as giant-poo-cake fears begin to be realised… Store cake in fridge to set ‘crumb layer’…
Day Four (day of party): Sleep very little and rise very early to begin sugarpaste icing. With idea-stealing continuing, use Trex to grease your worktop to prevent cracking of icing and dried out/white powdery rolling. Cover cake in seamless sheet of brown.
Panic.
Summon husband from toddler-watch and begin constructing sails, steering wheel, rope, cannon candles and waves, while keeping fingers crossed that this all just may work after all.
Bask in glory while muttering random pirate sayings and hoping that three-year old next door neighbour will have lots of wine to hand at this afternoon’s party.
Woohoo! So chuffed. And unlikely to offer quite so enthusiastically next time. Had fun but not sure the Boy enjoyed the (even more than usual) heightened anxiety for the last 72 hours.
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